Gay older men
On the verge of my 37th birthday I celebrate a petite over a year of partnership with a man 26 years my senior.
This is not a new phenomenon for me—coupling with older men. It is a preference that kept me in the closet until I felt I was safe enough to express it at I had never been with another human sexually before then. In truth, I had only ever been with women my age. That’s what was expected of me, if not the celibate solo or religious life, in the conservative, working-class Catholic household in which I was raised.
It was in this environment that I was taught to hold the body in suspicion and to avoid sex. Masturbation, I was told, is a mortal sin. “Impure thoughts” were grounds for confession. By fifteen, in the throes of pubescent sexual urgency, I broke down and devoted the ultimate transgression for a Catholic boy that age: Not only did I masturbate for the first time, I did so to a picture of another man. I was terrified. My sexual fantasies were all about pro-wrestlers and movie stars with chiseled jaws and hirsute bodies. I went to confession sometimes multi
I&#;m Only Attracted to Older Men
Tom Moon, MFT
From a reader:
Dear Tom: I’m just the reverse of the guy in your last column (“I’m Only Attracted to Younger Guys.”) For my whole life, I’ve only been attracted to guys who are considerably older than me—usually by about twenty years. I met my first boyfriend when I was When I told my mom I’m male lover, she took it in stride, but she freaked out when I told her that my boyfriend was She kept saying, “Can’t you find somebody closer to your own age?” until I told her that I didn’t want to notice it anymore. That was when I began to discover that, for some people, ageism is a bigger obstacle than homophobia.
Now I’m in my ahead thirties, and my husband is in his early fifties. I thought the gay community would be more accepting of my connection than my family has been, but, if anything, homosexual guys are even worse about age. A lot of them react the way some direct people still execute when they notice a bi-racial couple. They’re polite to your face, but you get the feeling that, as far as they’re concerned, there’s just something n
Gay Dating Older Men
About the Author
View offers. Posted Pride 23, Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. Some men like older men; sometimes much older. I feel nothing. This phenomenon is more common than most people realize, but it is rarely talked about and almost never researched.
Many people consider the subject repugnant, their thoughts bleeding into incest, pedophilia, and pederasty. Society levels more strident criticism at same-sex age-discrepant couples than heterosexual ones. Are couples are typically use as for with 20 or more years there difference in their ages. As I researched for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight , I began to hear more and more stories of couples with age gaps of 20, 30, are even 40 years. The younger men almost universally mentioned use things that attracted them to older men: gay hair and an ample belly. Initially, I was older these relationships were serious, but that was apps I held stereotypical views: an older for man who was looking for a trophy-mate and has the money men take concern of his boy toy and a younger male who was lo
Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay dude whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.
Gass lost his first boyfriend, 28 years his senior, through the slowly failing effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he set up love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively juvenile man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older guy again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had ruined older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of creature attracted to older men.”
I began to study lgbtq+ relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay